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Ayesha
Senior Member Pakistani


Joined: 15 Feb 2007 Posts: 751
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| Eight Ways to be a Better Friend |
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Being a good friend is a skill we can learn and improve upon. Here, eight ways to be a better friend.
Number One: Like yourself
The first step in having a good relationship with a friend is to have a good relationship with yourself. When we genuinely like ourselves, we become more attractive to other people. We have more to offer others because we are not constantly focused on our own image and reputation.
We become better friends because we don't cling. We are secure enough to spend time with a friend because we want to, not because we need to.
Number Two: Choose wisely
Relationships among true friends take a steady dose of time and energy--two resources in limited supply for all of us. Identify the friends with whom you wish to create a closer bond. It's perfectly okay if not all of your acquaintances make the list. The closeness of your connections is far more important than the length of your guest lists.
Number Three: Make the time
Friends are important in many ways--so much so that these relationships often take on a life of their own. You owe it to yourself (and to your friends) to make these relationships a priority. Carve out some quality time for one another.
Number Four: Make the first move
If you want to improve your relationships, put your fear of rejection aside and start taking more risks. Invite your friends to lunch. Organize a new playgroup. Invite them over for dinner.
Too often, we fail to follow up with our friends. Don't miss out-just make the first phone call. Your friends are just as anxious to get together as you are.
Number Five: The Golden Rule
Treat your friends as you wish to be treated. Stated another way: "To have a friend, be a friend."
Focus more on being interested than on being interesting. Be enthusiastic and energetic. Avoid complaining, gossiping, and criticizing.
Number Six: Sweat the Small Stuff
Make your friends feel significant by remembering small kindnesses. Notice her new haircut. Remember to ask about her mother-in-law's surgery. Send flowers or a simple email when you know she needs it most.
Number Seven: Listen
Good listeners are hard to find, and honing your skills can be a long-term project.
A few tips:
-Slow down. Try not to finish your friend's sentences. If you catch yourself planning your response while your friend is still talking, gently remind yourself to focus on the speaker.
-Show her you are listening. Maintain eye contact. Offer nods and murmurs that indicate you understand her point of view.
-Minimize distractions.
-Ask questions.
-Be careful with advice. Assume your friend wants to vent her frustrations, not ask you for a plan of action.
Number Eight: Be loyal
We all need someone in our corner. If your friend isn't there to defend herself against gossip or criticism, speak up, and know she would do the same for you.
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| Sat Aug 11, 2007 2:31 am |
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Shahzaibkhan
Full PK Member


Joined: 17 Jul 2007 Posts: 489 Location: Lahore, Pakistan |
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Very well said....
_________________ Mein woh hoon jo kisi ne kaha:
HAM NAGHMA SARA KUCH GHAZLON KE HAM SOORAT GAR KUCH KHWAABON KE
BE JAZBA E SHOQ SUNAYEN KIYA KOI KHWAAB NA HO TO BATAYEN KIYA |
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| Sun Aug 12, 2007 12:10 am |
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M Ashraf Siddiqui
Full PK Member

Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 141 Location: Doha, Qatar |
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To have a friend, be a friend, very nicely said.
1. Listening to others help in building confidence, trust and strengthening yr relations.
It is NOT necessary that one can solve or help in meeting the needs of other friend, but by listening you can minimise the level of misery/tension and feeling that your friend is not alone facing.
2. No objections or rejection of ideas
3. Minimum expectations - when one start expecting any benefit, both friends may not continue for long
4. Mutual respect in presence and in absence.
5. Greeting with smile on each meeting
6. No competition and NO complex. Inferiority OR Superiority
Friendhip continues on equal level.
7. Presenting gifts or inviting YES if convenient. But a friend can not afford, because he might think that money I spent on gift or meal better to meet family needs first. Convey your best wishes on any occassion through telephone call or personal meeting or Emails like on birth days, Eid, marriages in family or condolences in time.
8. NEVER bring a topic which your friend does NOT like. or is irritated.
9. Tell your friend some thing you did not like, so that he will not repeat, if he is yr friend.
If you will just keep with you and yr friend may keep repeating as his/her habbit may loose you one day. Better tell in beginning to avoid distance or loosing.
Last edited by M Ashraf Siddiqui on Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:44 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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| Sun Aug 12, 2007 9:33 pm |
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Shahzaibkhan
Full PK Member


Joined: 17 Jul 2007 Posts: 489 Location: Lahore, Pakistan |
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Thanks both of you...Allah Bless you....
_________________ Mein woh hoon jo kisi ne kaha:
HAM NAGHMA SARA KUCH GHAZLON KE HAM SOORAT GAR KUCH KHWAABON KE
BE JAZBA E SHOQ SUNAYEN KIYA KOI KHWAAB NA HO TO BATAYEN KIYA |
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| Sun Aug 12, 2007 9:56 pm |
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EnCounter
Senior Proud Pakistani


Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 1115
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Hmm, Good suggestions to be or have a good friend. But question is that how many follow those steps..... 
_________________ Sorry for my poor english! |
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| Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:23 am |
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loje
Gupshup Moderator


Joined: 14 Jan 2008 Posts: 2054 Location: Saudia Arabia |
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Being a good friend is a skill we can learn and improve upon. Here, eight ways to be a better friend.
Number One: Like yourself
The first step in having a good relationship with a friend is to have a good relationship with yourself. When we genuinely like ourselves, we become more attractive to other people. We have more to offer others because we are not constantly focused on our own image and reputation.
We become better friends because we don't cling. We are secure enough to spend time with a friend because we want to, not because we need to.
Number Two: Choose wisely
Relationships among true friends take a steady dose of time and energy--two resources in limited supply for all of us. Identify the friends with whom you wish to create a closer bond. It's perfectly okay if not all of your acquaintances make the list. The closeness of your connections is far more important than the length of your guest lists.
Number Three: Make the time
Friends are important in many ways--so much so that these relationships often take on a life of their own. You owe it to yourself (and to your friends) to make these relationships a priority. Carve out some quality time for one another.
Number Four: Make the first move
If you want to improve your relationships, put your fear of rejection aside and start taking more risks. Invite your friends to lunch. Organize a new playgroup. Invite them over for dinner.
Too often, we fail to follow up with our friends. Don't miss out-just make the first phone call. Your friends are just as anxious to get together as you are.
Number Five: The Golden Rule
Treat your friends as you wish to be treated. Stated another way: "To have a friend, be a friend."
Focus more on being interested than on being interesting. Be enthusiastic and energetic. Avoid complaining, gossiping, and criticizing.
Number Six: Sweat the Small Stuff
Make your friends feel significant by remembering small kindnesses. Notice her new haircut. Remember to ask about her mother-in-law's surgery. Send flowers or a simple email when you know she needs it most.
Number Seven: Listen
Good listeners are hard to find, and honing your skills can be a long-term project.
A few tips:
-Slow down. Try not to finish your friend's sentences. If you catch yourself planning your response while your friend is still talking, gently remind yourself to focus on the speaker.
-Show her you are listening. Maintain eye contact. Offer nods and murmurs that indicate you understand her point of view.
-Minimize distractions.
-Ask questions.
-Be careful with advice. Assume your friend wants to vent her frustrations, not ask you for a plan of action.
Number Eight: Be loyal
We all need someone in our corner. If your friend isn't there to defend herself against gossip or criticism, speak up, and know she would do the same for you |
nice thread even if iam late
thanks 
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| Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:20 pm |
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Anni Ali
Forum Family Member


Joined: 25 Jan 2008 Posts: 5837
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so ture...nice info..
thnx for sharing..
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| Fri Mar 28, 2008 12:07 am |
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urfi67
Senior Member Pakistani

Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 873 Location: Colombo |
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Dosti is all giving like love,,,
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| Tue May 06, 2008 2:50 pm |
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inayat khan qazi
Senior Member Pakistani

Joined: 03 Apr 2008 Posts: 583 Location: 55743 idar-oberstein Germany |
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| FRIENDSHIP/DOSTI |
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Frienship is the hardest thing to explain in life.It is something you will not learn at school.Never try to prove your friendship,friendship proves it self with the passage of a time.You have to be caring in friendship & also knowing the meaning of friendship.It is not something which you will learn at school and if you haven,t learn the meaning of friendship,you haven,t learn anything in life.So if you make new friends you should not forget the old ones.Because old are gold & new are silver.
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| Tue May 06, 2008 4:15 pm |
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urfi67
Senior Member Pakistani

Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 873 Location: Colombo |
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there is just one way 2 b a good friend,,,SINCERITY
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| Tue May 06, 2008 4:24 pm |
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iqbal
Forum Family Member


Joined: 19 Jul 2007 Posts: 6345 Location: K2 |
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beauty needs no arguments & freindship has no ruleS. 
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| Tue May 06, 2008 5:04 pm |
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Riya
Forum Family Member


Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 5894 Location: Islamabad |
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beauty needs no arguments & freindship has no ruleS.  |
yeah friendship has not rules
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| Wed May 07, 2008 11:56 am |
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urfi67
Senior Member Pakistani

Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 873 Location: Colombo |
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NO,,,,,everything follows certain rules,,,friendship has its own rules and the first and foremost is SINCERITY
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| Thu May 08, 2008 10:10 am |
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Riya
Forum Family Member


Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 5894 Location: Islamabad |
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NO,,,,,everything follows certain rules,,,friendship has its own rules and the first and foremost is SINCERITY |
In friendship here is only one rule that is here is no any rule !!!
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| Thu May 08, 2008 11:43 am |
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urfi67
Senior Member Pakistani

Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 873 Location: Colombo |
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even jungle has a rule,,,and ur talking abt friendship with no rules,,,aap friendship ko samajti hi nahi ho
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| Thu May 08, 2008 2:05 pm |
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Anni Ali
Forum Family Member


Joined: 25 Jan 2008 Posts: 5837
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hmm srry but i agree wid Riya...cus i think frndship wid rules make it formal..while frndship should be casual widout any formalties and rules...
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| Fri May 09, 2008 4:00 am |
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Riya
Forum Family Member


Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 5894 Location: Islamabad |
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hmm srry but i agree wid Riya...cus i think frndship wid rules make it formal..while frndship should be casual widout any formalties and rules... |
yeah That's it !!!
now urfi i think u got ur answer !!!
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| Fri May 09, 2008 1:55 pm |
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urfi67
Senior Member Pakistani

Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 873 Location: Colombo |
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even that casualness has certain rules,,,,,of one rule is sincerity,next,,,u dont have 2 careful with ur friends,,,next,,,no formalities,,,next khul kar baat karni hai,,,next ,,,overlook mistakes of ur friends,,,and many more,,,,kuch palay para ya ??????????
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| Fri May 09, 2008 2:47 pm |
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Anni Ali
Forum Family Member


Joined: 25 Jan 2008 Posts: 5837
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mery tou nahin parh Riya se umeed nahin hai... 
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| Sat May 10, 2008 2:09 am |
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urfi67
Senior Member Pakistani

Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 873 Location: Colombo |
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mys-girl ur rite,,,Riya ka palay yae batain nahi parain gi,,,inn baton ka level thora ooncha hai
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| Mon May 12, 2008 10:10 am |
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Riya
Forum Family Member


Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 5894 Location: Islamabad |
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mys-girl ur rite,,,Riya ka palay yae batain nahi parain gi,,,inn baton ka level thora ooncha hai |
mera level to mujhe pata hai lekin aap ka level kia hai kia aap yeh jante ho ?
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| Mon May 12, 2008 11:32 am |
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urfi67
Senior Member Pakistani

Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 873 Location: Colombo |
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aap ka level 
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| Mon May 12, 2008 2:50 pm |
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Riya
Forum Family Member


Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 5894 Location: Islamabad |
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pata hai aap brush karte ho now don't show ur teeth 
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| Mon May 12, 2008 2:55 pm |
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urfi67
Senior Member Pakistani

Joined: 25 Apr 2008 Posts: 873 Location: Colombo |
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teeth iss liya show kar raha hoon kay dost aap bhi hanso,,,khush raho koi bill nahi ayai ga
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| Mon May 12, 2008 3:04 pm |
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Riya
Forum Family Member


Joined: 05 May 2007 Posts: 5894 Location: Islamabad |
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teeth iss liya show kar raha hoon kay dost aap bhi hanso,,,khush raho koi bill nahi ayai ga |
kia pata baad main aap bil baijh do ke itna ho gaya hai to phir main kia karon !!!!
i m not so much rich so i can't afford it 
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| Mon May 12, 2008 3:10 pm |
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