Bohat sey Dukh hain jin ko Mayre Saath chalna hay....

i visited this site 3 days ago. i m only sister of five brothers. i came here in UK. My Brothers love me alot.....Always.
i always felt proud on them. i from my whole life thought that my father is very strict. its true.He did his job with all ministers,so by nature he is not friendly as he spent his time almost with them.
i came here few months ago. i found my all brothers different here. my 3 bhai were setteled here already 10 years back.
Now the condition is totally different, the bhai who gave me Extreme Extreme and Extreme Love to all of them, /He changed after his marriage.No body can never beleive as all r reader but i only knw personally.
All bhai scold me alot. i do household work. each and every thing. i am 21 years old. I am the only sister.My Dear carefull bhai has changed into careless bhai. i seperately prepare breakfast for them, then lunch, then dinner, clean the house, and even to lookafter his baby. but still i have NO value.my Parents are helpless, due to my British born bhabi.
Father to whome i always thought a strict person, now only he has became my true friend. he lives in another city with mummy....bhai always offer me here to continue my study. but now they r not giving me oppertunity.this thing hurting me, my father and mummy. my parents spend their most simple life. aal decission now r taken by Bhai(who got Married)....
it am a girl to whome ALLAH blessed with an attrective personality. i did my graduation from university in islamabad. i never saw to any boy in all my duration. it doesnt mean that there was not a single boy, that was co-education. but i reject their all Friendship Offers.
My all friends r there in Pak.i Miss them alot. imiss to my Homeland. i love u pakistan.
pls Pray for my future. i dont know about next day even...
salam to all and love to Pakistan.
ALLAH Hafiz....

Salam Sister !!!!

Yup thats so harsh. But you know Allah put ur brothers in test and gonna check that what they would do with their sister.And Inshallah Sister one day they would realize that they were rong! We can pray for you ..You are like our lil sisters. Dont worry you will be back to your previous condition soon Inshallah.

Why dont you move to ur parents??

And Between welcome to ForumPakistan.Hope you gonna enjoy your stay with the forumpakistani members!!!!!!

Dont worry sister!!! Every thing would be Ok soon InshAllah!!

_________________
CheerzZ

AlwayzZ
DreamzZ

Thank U Bhiya for ur soft-wording. ur few words make me happy....

Dukh wo hay jo ander sey Lahoo kar dey Mayra Dil
Hum wo k Pighal kar bhi Aansoo nikalnay na dain
agar waqt k Marham ka Darmaan na mila koi
kuch haadsey Mujhay phir barson sambhalnay na dain....

	Beauty Rose wrote:
	Thank U Bhiya for ur soft-wording. ur few words make me happy.... Dukh wo hay jo ander sey Lahoo kar dey Mayra Dil Hum wo k Pighal kar bhi Aansoo nikalnay na dain agar waqt k Marham ka Darmaan na mila koi kuch haadsey Mujhay phir barson sambhalnay na dain....

Aray sister Bahi koo thanks kis cheez kaa!!!!!!!
We are all like family here ,we are here to share each other problems and thouths.!!!!!

So don't worry sister here you will find sweetest brothers and sisters!!!

_________________
CheerzZ

AlwayzZ
DreamzZ

rose,
I can see what situation are you strangled in, but dont worry, this is life full of ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Apparently you are going through that bad phase, or downs but inshaALLAH you'lll see ups soon. First of all you should be happy that atleast your parents express their love for you. In this difficult time it is very easy for you to go astray, it is very easy that you become vulnerable to this cruel UK society and easily victimised by someone else. So my suggestion to you would be to pray ALLAH, make loads of duas and stay away from any kind of bad deeds, inshaALLAH you'll be anchored by ALLAH and everything will be alright. Just be a bit strong and have a little faith in ALLAH.

I would suggest you to immediately go back to Pakistan, as in these circumstances its best to live with your parents and in a society which is far better than the one here in UK. Also you'll be protected and taken care off by your parents so you dont need to worry about anything there. Get your higher education from Pakistan as I believe Pakistan is getting better in higher education these days.

About your brother, I think it is inevitable of anyone who gets married here that he would be controlled by partner, the reason is there is a huge, massive, enormous difference between the two cultures i-e culture, family norms, and values back home and family norms or values here in UK amongst muslims. Even the most so called "good muslims" here in UK have some genes of arrogance and disrespect towards people back home and their elders, so most of them would never know how to deal with daily life situations, that is why your brother is being controlled by your bhabi. But having said that not all UK muslims are alike, there are a few outstanding examples as well in which cases UK muslims are far better than Pakis.

We'll all inshaALLAH pray for you and i would suggest you again to find a way to get back home to Pakistan, life is so good there. Also as dreams said, we are all here to help you out in any kind of matter.

Just let us know if you need any kind of help.

DreamzZ wrote:

	Beauty Rose wrote:
	Thank U Bhiya for ur soft-wording. ur few words make me happy.... Dukh wo hay jo ander sey Lahoo kar dey Mayra Dil Hum wo k Pighal kar bhi Aansoo nikalnay na dain agar waqt k Marham ka Darmaan na mila koi kuch haadsey Mujhay phir barson sambhalnay na dain....

Aray sister Bahi koo thanks kis cheez kaa!!!!!!!
We are all like family here ,we are here to share each other problems and thouths.!!!!!

So don't worry sister here you will find sweetest brothers and sisters!!!

yup !! bro... u r right !!!

main kaisay pechay reh jaon Wink

don't u worry Rose just be happy and trust on Allah !!

Inshallah everything will be fine like previous condition !!!

now u r here with us aur hamaray saath reh kar koi sady sady

kaun si kitaab main likha hai jao jaa ker perh kay aao phir batana Wink

_________________

Dear sister rose!

I have read your problem, it's really very touching but I advise you to do two things in this phase of difficulty:

a) First of all, you should build a strong relationship with Allah, and pray to HIM because this will give you comfort and energy to fight against such circumstances.

b) Secondly, don't make yourself so weak. When you make yourself weak, anyone can rule on your life. Just produce courage and struggles for your basic rights like education/private life/future because you're not an animal who has no feelings, no future, no emtions. You should show your anger/oppostion when you feel that somebody ruins your life with his will. It is your right, if your're opressed just struggle for your rights and snap these rights from others if they're not willing to give you.But make sure that you will not done something which is no allowed in Islam.

Inshallah Allah will help you, and don't silent on this zulm and opression ...

_________________

The Highest Degree Of Wisdom is Self-Cognition .. Hazrat Ali (A.S.)

hi Our Beauty Rose Wink

Welcome To The Forum Welcome To Your 2nd Family Wink

Dont Worry Of Any Thing This Is Temporary Time And It Will Desapeard Beleive Me

Becase Allah Said In His Holy Quraan

" إن مع العسر يسرا "
means If There Is Some Unhappy Moments And There IS For Sure To Any One There Is Happy Moments Will Come After That But Allah test's us to see who will Patience and who is not

and what syed12ka5 said is right dont let any one ruin your life and you should go to your family

_________________

Thanks alot "ugwaraich and syed12ka5". i cant beleive that anyone can understand others problem.
one thing i want to say u both, that if u r married or not but pls dont leave ur sisters alone, like Me.
its My request, u cant understand the feelings. i know some time sisters became selfish too, but if they r sincere
then always listen them carefully, coz they love to u, teir Brothers.....!
May all bhai of all sisters Blessed and safe.....
Thank U.

Someone very Alone....

Thank U for ur reply.... these things hurting me alot, thatswhy i share it here,i dont know its good or not.
i will always need of ur prays..
Take care.

Someone very Alone.

	Beauty Rose wrote:
	Thank U for ur reply.... these things hurting me alot, thatswhy i share it here,i dont know its good or not. i will always need of ur prays.. Take care. Someone very Alone.

you can share any thing you want and we can give you advices if you want Wink

its good to show your feelings becase its better to your health

i will always pray to you without you saying Wink

_________________

Beauty Rose wrote:

Thanks alot "ugwaraich and syed12ka5". i cant beleive that anyone can understand others problem.
one thing i want to say u both, that if u r married or not but pls dont leave ur sisters alone, like Me.
its My request, u cant understand the feelings. i know some time sisters became selfish too, but if they r sincere
then always listen them carefully, coz they love to u, teir Brothers.....!
May all bhai of all sisters Blessed and safe.....
Thank U.

Someone very Alone....

I dont have any sister, but whether its a sister or brother I think blood is blood; we should all take care of our blood relations particularly and muslim brothers/sisters in general and then other humans. Thanks for the advice.

U R looking so helpful and gave valuable suggestions...... u r online now???? its too late....
Bhiya hav u any yahoo id. i wanna ask just about studies guideline....
if u dont mind ...pls

	Beauty Rose wrote:
	Thank U for ur reply.... these things hurting me alot, thatswhy i share it here,i dont know its good or not. i will always need of ur prays.. Take care. Someone very Alone.

u welcome anytime !!!

just don't be upset hum hain to kiya ghum hai Wink

bas ap khush to hum khush !!!

keep in touch with us !!!

aur baqi jo kehna tha loje alread said all what i was saying !!

_________________

dear Rose
I just want to share something

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we are suffering from or don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have

You have thousands of things to appreciate and enjoy and this situation is temporary just a small test from ALLAH to see how sabir and shakir you are. Always remember

WHEN GOD TAKES AWAY

SOMETHING FROM YOU HE'S

NOT PUNISHING YOU BUT MERELY

EMPTYING YOUR HAND FOR YOU

TO RECEIVE SOMETHING BETTER!!!

When faced with a serious problem the first thing we can do is determine if there is a way to fix it. If there is a way then we can lay out a plan and go to it. If there is not a reasonable solution then we can resign ourselves to the fact that it isn't going to change and move on. Acceptance of the situation can provide some immediate relief from the anger, anxiety and stress that might be burdening us.

Why wouldn't you accept it, if it does not have a solution? Rehashing it over and over in your mind will not make it disappear and is just self punishment.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."

Most of our worries are about something that has happened and is still with us, real or perhaps only as a memory. If it has already happened, what can be learned? It is the experience of struggling, surviving and carrying on, that makes us better humans.

How often have you worried intensely over something that turned out to be not as bad as you initially thought, or not a problem at all? Even some of our most serious personal problems often fade away in a month or year.

Acceptance is an important ingredient in the formula of life. It makes an irritating situation acceptable, a major problem minor. Acceptance should be waiting to take over whenever there is not a way out.

"There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about the things which are beyond the power of the will." - Epictetus

	Beauty Rose wrote:
	U R looking so helpful and gave valuable suggestions...... u r online now???? its too late.... Bhiya hav u any yahoo id. i wanna ask just about studies guideline.... if u dont mind ...pls

sorry but I dont use yahoo. you can add me on msn, if you want any guidelines.

Dear young sister Beauty Rose,
I read about your feelings & problems,I M older than you & will give U first advise be a optimist don,t let your head down.Find your peace of mind in Islam in every "SAJDA" directly ask from your ALLAH,as a older brother I will definitely pray 4 U.I have seen all the European countries from the age of 12 years old(BCS my father was having business here in Germany)from begining I never wanted to stay abroad & went back to Pakistan & completed my studies there.Every year I used to visit my father here,but never wanted to stay here.And when I was just 21 my father suddenly died here.As a oldest son I had to come here to takeover my father business to support my entire family & I M doing it till now,although against my own wish & will.Dear sister why I M telling U all this,so that you shld know every one has to go through a practical experiences & hard time.Most of the time we have to nigate our ownself to sacrifice for our families.I try to find my peace of mind in my religeon.Allah Hamd do Lillah I M well settled,& asuccessful businessman,though every day here is for me like spending a year but I have to carry it on because of my brothers & sisters.I M myself 45 years old,happily marrid & father of two sons but never forget the rights of my sisters & brothers. I pitty your brothers,one day they will realise that a sister is such a sweet,lovely&pious relation.Without their prayers we cannot achieve whatever we are enjoying.In the mean time I will also advise you to carry on your studies,serve your parrents(BCS it is aboon of a God)do good to your brothers & forget.Also you have to realise their family problems & situation,life changes after one get married although I M of the oppinion that not at the cost of our brother & sisters,we have to justice amongst our relations.That what ALLAH expects from us.Be brave,be possitive.Inshah Allah everything go smooth,as a brother I can always offer you my shoulder in any situation.We as a human beings are always hungry of feelings.WE true PATTANS when call someone sister than it means a lot for us,You are not alone our prayers,moral support & in time of need any physical support is there For you.

yes beauty rose,,,,,ur problems r serious and one feel helpless in such conditions,,,,,i vil just say keep on fighting and one day u vil win,,,fight against ur problems,,,Tawaguaat kay gham mein azab kitnay hain,,,umeedain tor kar kis qadr sakoon milta hai,,,